How to Live Out Your Yeses and Nos

Let's start with a somewhat embarrassing story, at least in the retelling.

The other day at school pick-up, a mom friend and I were chatting about Teacher Appreciation Week. She'd heard from her son that the bouquets of flowers we'd brought our teachers had been from our garden. "OF COURSE they were from your garden," she said, good-naturedly implying that I was the rare kind of person who would grow flowers and then gather them up to give to other people—and, oh yes, also have a vase on hand, have time to put the whole thing together, and, you know, remember that it was "teacher flower day" in the first place.

I did my best to downplay this feat—they were just in mason jars! the blooms were basically already there when we planted the plants! - but the truth is that creating beauty for others and lavishing love on our kids' teachers really does matter to me. There are plenty of balls I drop or don't even care to toss in the air (our kids' sheets get changed every few months, for example), but this is one area where I know what matters to me... and I've figured out how to live it out.

What does it take, to go from "I wish I could do that" to "Of course I did that"? That's what we're going to explore today. Now that we're a few months into the year, I thought it would be an ideal time to look back at the "what I'm saying yes to" and "what I'm saying no to" lists we scratched out in our PowerSheets® goal planners at the beginning of the 2025. Together, we'll mark progress, reaffirm what matters, cut loose what doesn't, and figure out how to bring even more of our lists to life throughout the rest of this year. Let's do it!

Step one: uncover what matters

Since you've already done the work of uncovering what matters when you completed your PowerSheets Prep Work, this is more a process of reflection than creation.

Flip back to your Make Decisions page (page 17 in the 2025 One-Year PowerSheets) and read through what you wrote down:

• What are you actively living out, even if imperfectly?
• What has totally fallen off your radar, but still resonates when you read it?
• What is no longer a priority?
• What's not written down, but should be?

Feel free to jot additional notes or strike out ideas as needed. This is a living document - get messy!

When I consider my own lists, a few things stand out:

• Posting on my personal Instagram, reading great books with our kids, generosity along the way, loving our neighborhood, bike rides, singing grace, playing piano, and walks are all happening —definitely imperfectly!
• We have totally fallen out of the habit of our morning family blessing. Clutter abounds —or at least it feels that way, sometimes. Strength training is inconsistent but top of mind. Waking up at 7:30 is a joke.
• I'd add "assuming negative intent" to my no list and "daily hugs" to my yes list, both items I'm focusing on in my marriage.

Now that you're more clear on what matters, keep it in front of you! Consider tearing out this page of your PowerSheets and posting it somewhere you'll see it every day, taking a photo and saving it on your phone, adding a note to your Tending Lists to check back in with this page each month, or putting reminders of specific yeses or nos where they'll help you make better decisions in the moment.

Step two: break it down

Now that you have a better view of what matters and what's a priority in this season, it's time to make a plan—a loose, simple, flexible plan. 

Start by highlighting a few yeses or nos where you'd love to see change. Seriously - go ahead and highlight them in your planner! Then, pick just 1-2 you'd like to focus on in the month ahead. (If your list is longer than that, the Pace Yourself for Success grid (p. 46-47) is a great place to assign priorities to future months.)

From there, the action needed might become clear. For example, I realized that the post-it note with our family blessing had fallen off the wall and been swept away without me realizing it. Sticking up a new version will likely be all it takes to get us back on track.

Other times, you'll need to dig a bit deeper to figure out the best course of action or what's needed. Work backward as best you can to find the root, asking yourself, why haven't I done this in the past? What's in the way? What needs to happen for this to be possible?

For me, a more complicated yes I'd really like to move toward is waking up at 7:30. This is going to require moving several steps back, looking at my evenings and what can shift there—which will probably set off a cascade even further back, to my afternoons. This is why we focus on just 1-2 items at a time: to create lasting change in deep-rooted ways of being, we can't just throw on a quick band-aid. Instead, we need to look at each layer with curiosity, and that takes time.

Step three: live it out

With your plan (and a commitment to living it out with flexibility and grace!) in hand, it's time to set things in motion! As you do, here are a few bonus suggestions you might find helpful. Pick and choose what's right for your situation!

This might be family members, friends or influencers on social media, or even a voice inside your own head. Is there a voice that's discounting what matters to you, that makes you forget what matters, or that's leading you away from what matters? Turn it down! We can't always mute voices entirely, but we can almost always turn down their volume—by unfollowing, by limiting exposure, by setting gracious boundaries, or by flooding our "airwaves" with more positive messages.

Keep the right supplies at hand

If you're saying yes to candles at dinner or more family bike rides, you might need to invest in candle sticks or a thrifted set of wheels! 

More often, though, having what we need is more a game of shifting the priority of objects in our spaces—for example, keeping those candlesticks right on the table, with a book of matches beside. This is James Clear's principle of "make it easy" for habit adoption, and we wholeheartedly endorse it. Keep what you need to live out your yeses and nos close at hand and easy to access. 

On the flip side, remove what's no longer needed—what doesn't line up with the person you want to be and the type of life you want to live. Throw these things out, give them away, box them up in the back of a closet.

For more, head to this blog post for a deep dive on changing cues in your environment!

Make it part of a rhythm 

Can you make your new desired behavior part of a rhythm that's already working? To try this, pair a new "yes" with a habit that's firmly in place. The key is to choose an "anchor habit" or routine that is already a no-brainer part of your day. This way, you won't need to worry about remembering to perform the new behavior—the old one will trigger it! Think: doing bicep curls next to the tub while your children take a bath or reading a chapter of a book while you drink your morning coffee.

For more, check out the Routines Workbook - an open-and-go resource to build better routines.

Ruthlessly eliminate

To make time for the things that matter most, we must aggressively cut out the things that matter less. I find this to be a depressingly sturdy truism of life. Even if you are in a season of abundance, or reaching out to others and trying new things, you must practice discernment or you will experience burnout and overwhelm. Every no carries the potential for a better yes; every yes carries the burden of a hard no. Keep your big picture in front of you and commit to saying no graciously—and often.

Start small

Start small in every way. Think you're starting small? Start smaller 😉 

Spoiler alert: in the 2026 version of PowerSheets, we're actually changing these lists to "what I want more of" and "what I want less of" (!). While the yes and no lists have been a beloved part of our goal planner almost since the beginning, we love that shifting them to a more/less perspective moves them from black and white thinking toward small, consistent progress over time—about as close to our heartbeat as you can get! 

A change doesn't have to be perfect or done every time to count. Every step in the right direction, every time you live out a yes or a no, is a vote of confidence in the person you are becoming and the big-picture vision you're moving toward. Small wins build on each other.

So, here at the beginning, don't be afraid to ask yourself: what is the smallest way I could live this out? And then do it today!

Start today

Filling out the yes/no list in your PowerSheets is a fantastic feeling. It's empowering, and energizing, and freeing. It's a fantastic place to start... but it's a terrible place to end.

With a renewed commitment to how you'll spend your time this year, say yes to what matters in the year ahead and no to the things that will hold you back—and then go live them out! We're cheering you on!