What to Do Now to Make the Holidays Easier

Here is what this blog post is not: a collection of "hacks" that promise to make the holidays easier... but actually just add more to your to-do list and stretch out the time you have to complete them. Sneaky, sneaky. No, ma'am.

While we are fans of preparing for important seasons and moments in advance, and executing on holiday merriment does require some organization and effort, we're backing this holiday-prep train way up and starting from a place with no hacks in sight. Whew.

As we do here at Cultivate, we're going to begin making the holidays easier by first uncovering what matters. Because you get to decide! While other experts might hand you a list of what needs to be accomplished by December 31st to have a magical holiday season, we believe you're the expert in what will bring meaning to these days. 

Then, we'll break down your vision into simple tasks you can space out in a lifegiving way over the next several weeks. We'll cut plenty of things that don't actually matter in this step, too!

Finally, we'll offer a few suggestions to help you feel like yourself throughout the holidays—no perfection required. By the end of this process, we hope you'll feel excited to enjoy the holidays and celebrate the season well.

Let's dig in!

Uncover What Matters

Do you love the holiday season but feel overwhelmed year after year? Let's change that! Start by asking a few simple questions that will help you focus on what matters in this season and (equally as important!) let go of the rest. Here they are—grab a piece of scrap paper or a journal and jot down your answers!

How do you want this holiday season to feel?

There are, of course, no wrong answers. You might write "bubbly and festive," "peaceful and slow," "merry and connected," or "nostalgic and warm." When you think about Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or the celebration you're most looking forward to over the next few months, how do you want those special days to feel? Jot down a few words.

How do you want to feel this holiday season?

Similar, but different, right? For example, if you wrote that you want your holidays to feel "bubbly and festive," perhaps you want to feel "prepared and lighthearted" so that you feel equipped to pivot around holiday invitations and ready to welcome people into your home. What is it for you? Jot down a few notes.

Who are the most important people to celebrate?

For many of us, the answer to this question is probably obvious, but it's still worth writing down!

Sometimes, in the flurry of the holiday season, the most important people actually get the short end of the stick: our anxious, distracted, overwhelmed selves, tired from picking and prepping and planning. Let's not do that, but instead keep the people who matter most at the forefront.

What are the most important traditions to celebrate? 

Which 1-3 traditions matter the most in this season? We'll even let you pick 1-3 for each major holiday :) As an example, here's what this looks like for my family this year:

• Halloween: This year, it's most important that we trick-or-treat as a family and then come home to sort candy and watch It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown. Wearing a themed family costume and carving pumpkins are on the list but wouldn't be deal breakers if they didn't happen.
• Thanksgiving: I want to be with my family, take a hike or walk on Thanksgiving Day, and eat stuffing. That's it!
• Christmas: This is the hardest to narrow down, because I have SO MANY beloved Christmas traditions. Setting aside things that we'll automatically do and that don't need prep (i.e. attending a Christmas Eve service), I'd say my top three this year are choosing and decorating a Christmas tree, attending our town's Christmas parade, and painting book ornaments for each of my children.

Again, you can partake in more than three holiday traditions. I plan to! :) But naming what's at the top of the stack means you can create space for those first before other priorities horn in. Once you've got your top items on the calendar, you can slot any additional plans in as time allows.

What is your most important priority for the holidays? 

Given everything you've written, let's pull it all together and name your most important priority for the holidays. Just one! As with traditions, not everything can matter the most. Multiple things can matter, of course, but when faced with tough decisions about how to spend your time, money, or energy, it helps to know what's on top. 

So what is it for you? Your one priority might be a way you want to feel, an event you want to host, a goal you want to complete, or an activity you want to organize. For me, I'd say my top priority is that my family feels cozy and connected in our new home. We'll be in a new space by the time Halloween rolls around, and I know it will be tempting to feel scattered, disorganized, and like things aren't how I want them to be as we get settled. Even in the midst of box chaos, I want to create a sense of warmth, stability, and tradition for my family of five.

What is it for you? Jot down a few words or a phrase.

Break It Down

Okay—you've done the most important step in making the holidays feel easier: you've uncovered what matters! You've named your top priority, how you want to feel, and what traditions are most important. This is huge! Now, let's put into action what you've learned so that it's easier to live out. Here are your simple steps:

Add the most important traditions, events, and activities to your calendar.

You know those traditions, events, and activities you brainstormed above? Time to add them to your calendar!

Some will have a fixed date—you just need to look it up and write it down. Easy!

Some you'll need to confer with others to schedule. Go ahead and take the first step now by texting your friend group, calling your mom, or emailing your neighborhood friends to get the ball rolling.

Finally, some you'll need to block out time for, even if you don't have a firm date. For example, I'll need about ten 1-2 hour evening blocks to work on the book ornaments I paint for my children. That's quite a bit of time in a full season! Knowing this, I can look at my calendar now, with plenty of lead time, and pencil in these blocks throughout November and December.

Go ahead and take a few minutes to do this now!

Cut something just for this season.

Knowing the brilliant, thoughtful woman you are, you likely already have routines and habits in place that make your life run smoothly. That's wonderful! But if you need to make room for merriment (and all the tasks that support merriment!) in this season, what you can you simplify and let go of even if just for the next few weeks? How can you simplify your daily rhythms or expectations? What doesn't matter right now?

This could be things like elaborate meal planning, carefully choosing your outfits, some cleaning tasks, extra beauty or medical appointments, or kid activities. 

You can also choose to cut holiday traditions, events, and activities that may have mattered in the past (or may have never mattered!) but that don't matter now. Think: sending cards, preparing fancy meals, doing an Advent countdown, making costumes, traveling to see faraway family, or giving more than three gifts to each child.

In a season of more, more, more, what is at least one thing you’re going to downgrade or release in this season? Write down a few thoughts.

Live It Out

You've done the really good work of making space for what matters and letting go of what doesn't. You're doing great! We'd love to finish by offering a few ways you can feel like yourself—like a nourished, flourishing person—even in the midst of the holiday bustle. Take what sounds good and leave the rest!

Tune out noise that brings comparison.

An incredible amount of joy can be stolen by watching, on social media, the way others celebrate the holidays—the movies they watch, the cute decorations they set up, the traditions they honor, the table settings, all of it. It’s not bad, and they’re not necessarily doing anything wrong by sharing, but consuming the highlight reels and best ideas of professional interior designers, party planners, and artists and then expecting every facet of your life and celebrations to stack up? That’s a recipe for discontent.

If this is a problem for you, we highly recommend logging off, unfollowing, and/or drastically reducing your time spent on social media in this season. (And if it’s something else that stokes envy and comparison for you, do whatever the version of "logging off" is for your trigger!)

Reflect weekly.

The holiday season might require more pivots and pep talks than usual, and a quick Sunday night check-in can be a game-changer in terms of helping you feel excited and prepared for what's next all season long.

In a journal or your planner, ask yourself: 

• Do I feel good about how I'm prioritizing what's most important? If not, what small change can I make now?
• What's coming up this week? What can I do now to prepare for it?

It can be tempting to make a massive list of every possible to-do from October 1 to December 31. Resist! While this feels like it might be comforting, it more often creates anxiety about all there is to do and makes it hard to pivot along the way. Instead, commit to a simple weekly practice of breaking things down and you'll get what needs to be done, done without the overwhelm.

Take notes for next year.

Want to really get ahead, making even next year's holidays easier right now? Take a few notes along the way this holiday season!

Did you come up with a brilliant teacher gift idea? Write it down!

Did you serve a Halloween meal that was easy to make and everyone enjoyed? Write it down!

Did you borrow a few new picture books you definitely want to get again? Write them down! 

We think we'll remember these things, but so often we don't. Instead of forgetting your hard-won solutions, jot them down and tuck the list into a box of holiday decor or supplies. Next year, it will be waiting for you, just where and when you need it.

Friends, we reject the premise that the holidays have to feel rushed, stressful, cookie-cutter, or overwhelming. We believe that they can be restful, personal, and meaningful. By taking these simple steps now to uncover what matters, break it down, and live it out, you'll be well on your way to celebrating the holidays well.