Three Lessons Lacoya Learned from Giving Up Social Media

Here at Cultivate What Matters we're big believers in social media-free weekends and intentional time away from our phones. This spills over into everything we do, including the Making Things Happen Conference!

One of the core components of the MTH Conference is being able to dig deep into what matters most free from any distractions. To make this easy for our attendees, we provide a safe home for all cell phones so they can focus on uncovering what matters without the temptation of a buzzing phone nearby.

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When we interviewed MTH Conference Alum, Lacoya Heggie, for our monthly MTH Alum newsletter a few weeks ago, we were intrigued when she mentioned recently taking a long hiatus from social media.

We love seeing our MTH Alum live out what they learn from the conference, and we learned so much from her interview that we wanted to invite her to share a bit more about her experience with the Cultivate community.

What prompted you to go on a social media hiatus?

I decided to take a hiatus from social media for several reasons.

I felt like I was becoming more invested in the surface relationships of Facebook (not to demean those relationships in any way) than I was the relationships that I could be forming in my very own community. I was also becoming overwhelmed with all of the social media inspiration that comes from everywhere about everything.

I had just made the firm decision to transition out of wedding planning and pursue a different direction in my career. I needed some alone time to zone in on what I wanted versus what my brain was telling me I wanted from what I was consuming via social media.class="s1">There are so many pretty things and microscopic lenses into everyone's lives on social media that you can really lose focus and get your goals and desires jumbled up based on what you see, what you think you want, and what looks great.

It's hard to focus on what matters most to you when you're constantly looking at what everyone else around you is working towards.


What lessons have you learned from your social media hiatus?

1. Focus on pursuing my own, organically-created goals.

Focus, focus, focus. What does our family desire our lives to look like? What do I like to do? What could I, realistically (with my life and my schedule and household income), pursue as a career? What do I need to work on and perfect? FOCUS on MY house and what we want - not on what I see via social media.

2. Don't take social media personally.

class="s1">What I do, how I view myself, those around me (anything personal that I need to think on and determine), will not be determined by what I see on Instagram or Facebook. Some people have a great life but don't have an Instagram. Just because a person seems insanely successful on social media, doesn't mean their life is perfect. The break was exactly what I needed to sever the tie that tricks people into taking things personally on social media.

3. Social media is a tool.

There are some great things about social media, like getting to stay in touch with friends and family, but, in the realm of business—social media is a tool.

Most importantly I've learned that my identity, worth, and value does not come from a virtual platform. It comes from the very real reality of the life that I live, the wife that I am, the mom that I am, the sister that I am, and the amount of time that I spend cultivating my friends right where I am.


Isn't it great to hear from Lacoya? We firmly believe social media isn't a bad thing when it is used purposefully (it's how we've met so many of you!), and eliminating yourselves from social media entirely isn't always an option.

However, when you use social media and your times of connectivity on purpose, it becomes intentional. Write out a mission statement for how and why you will use it well. Post that mission statement to your computer or desk where you will see it often. If you find yourself mindlessly using social media again, check your motive and get back to cultivating what matters in your life!

Do you need time to unplug and focus on uncovering what matters most to you? The Making Things Happen Conference is for you! We give you two days of intentional time to start uncovering the things that are important to you, knowing that time away is an investment in yourself and will create a ripple effect, impacting those around you, too.

Are you ready to take the leap and join us at Making Things Happen? Now through July 31st, you can get nearly 50% off your ticket with the early-bird rate! Register now

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How to Break It Down: Why We Love Mini Goals

We often say around here that we "do goals differently," and that can mean a lot of things–that we don't believe in anxiety-fueled goals, that we DO believe in attaching a strong WHY to each goal, or that we believe little by little progress is just as powerful as a big leap of faith. One of my favorite ways we do goals differently, though, is the way we actually go about tackling them–and THAT has a lot to do with mini goals.

The Cultivate What Matters proven process includes three steps:

1. First, uncover what matters to you: your passion, path, purpose, priorities, and big-picture vision
2. Then, make a plan: identify your big picture goals and clear starting steps
3. Finally, take action: think big picture and take small steps, experiencing change along the way

I am SO excited to say the 2019 PowerSheets, debuting this October, are going to reflect this process more clearly than ever before. As we reimagined the newest version, we wanted to reflect the way we see much of our community (that's you!) and our team setting goals. Instead of setting very concrete goals for the year, you are identifying "buckets" of areas that matter deeply to you and where you want to experience change. For example:

  • Love long-distance family members and friends well
  • Cultivate a life-giving home
  • Enjoy our family of three (before it becomes a family of four) (One of my 2018 goals!)
  • Love the things above, not the things of this world (Lara!)
  • Phone down, eyes up (Jess!)
  • Cultivate the Fruit of the Spirit in motherhood
  • Intentionally take care of myself through activities I love (Kristin!)
  • Use my creative gifts well (Kaylee!)
  • Build a strong financial foundation (Jess!)

Personally, I LOVE goals in this format–they immediately fire me up, because I can so clearly see how they have the potential to transform someone's life, not just serve as another thing to check off a to-do list!

But, as we all know, to see a change in these areas, at some point we DO need to make them more concrete (which makes them more actionable). Breaking each big "bucket goal" down into mini goals helps us take the next step, and when we string many steps together over the course of a year, THAT is when we will see real change!

Our PowerSheets walk you through all the necessary steps to do this, including getting specific and visualizing what progress on your bucket goal might look like and identifying what success at the end of the year might look like. Once you have the why and the finish line, it's easier to fill in the middle!

Speaking of the middle, that's where your Tending List comes in. Every month, it gives you the opportunity to refocus on your big picture yearly goals, identify the next ways you can move forward for each, and then add those mini goals to your daily, weekly, and monthly slots. Let's look at one of my goals for the year as an example!


Big picture yearly goal: Grow our family story through creating and maintaining a beautiful, simple visual narrative

Monthly goals I have completed so far this year:

  • Gather all of the loose printed photos in our home. Cull them to keep only favorites.
  • Sort loose printed photos into a box with sections (childhood, school, newlyweds, family life)
  • Choose a back-up solution for phone photos (we went with Amazon Prime)
  • Order new external hard drive for back-up
  • Create folder system on hard drive
  • Collect all random digital photos and sort them into folder system
  • Choose new favorite photos for display at home, print them, and frame them

This particular big picture goal hasn't had too many weekly goals, but I have had great success with daily goals here. As I work through organizing my backlog of phone photos especially, I'm editing, sorting, and transferring just one month per day of phone photos to our hard drive (i.e. January 2018, February 2018). It's not overwhelming, and I can clearly see myself making progress toward my big picture goal with each step!

If you are feeling stuck on a goal that you KNOW matters to you, this is the best way I know to start making progress. Break the big picture goal down into smaller and smaller chunks until it's almost impossible to NOT progress. That momentum builds, and soon enough, you'll be on your way.

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Meet Jordan, our Marketing and Content Coordinator!

It was so much fun introducing Ashlea yesterday! She's been around for three months and already feels like she's been here for ages, and we knew our Cultivate family would welcome her with open arms. But there's more celebrating to be had!

Meet Jordan, our new Marketing and Content Coordinator! I must admit, I breathed a sigh of relief after hiring Jordan, with whom I work closely, knowing I would be out of the office for two weeks for my wedding and honeymoon in April. Not only did she knock our Summer Launch out of the park while I was away, but she's continued to serve our team incredibly well over the past month (all while planning her own wedding and getting married, too!).

Jordan has an ease and warmth that can quickly steady anybody or any situation, and you are going to love getting to know her. She has a heart for serving women, an eagerness to jump in and try any new task, and sends the best GIFs! The main reason I'm excited about Jordan's job? Her gifts and passions are going to help us reach more women through our content, helping them to think big picture, live purposeful lives, and cultivate what matters–right where they are!

Keep reading to get to know Jordan. We're lucky to have her serving our team and this community alongside us each and every day!


What's your title? Marketing and Content Coordinator

What have you been doing since March? Goodness, so much has happened since March! In just the first few weeks of being on the team, I attended my very first Making Things Happen Conference and went to our Team Summit, where I got to meet all of the team in person. We spent a few days planning and dreaming for the rest of 2018 and our 2019 PowerSheets launch! I also attended our summer product photo shoot, and in between I’ve been soaking up all there is to learn and writing content. Plus, I was planning a wedding—I just got married in May!

What else will you be doing in the coming months? Over the next few months, I will be working alongside Jess and our new Marketing Director (I can’t wait for you to meet her!) to bring you all more great content! For me, that means doing a whole lot of writing and sharing more behind-the-scenes on Instagram stories. Also, I’m looking forward to Making Things Happen Conference this fall and my very first PowerSheets launch as a team member!


Tell us how you joined the team in a few sentences: Knowing I was getting married and would be relocating soon, I was looking for jobs in the area. My aunt, an avid PowerSheets user and Cultivate follower, saw that CWM was hiring (before I did!), and she encouraged me to apply!  I sent in my application, and after several interviews, found myself on my way to Chapel Hill to join the team. It all happened so fast, but I am so grateful!

Hometown and where you live now: I’m from Leesburg, Virginia. I currently live in Durham, North Carolina!

Birthday: February 14


Something others might not know about you: I’m a golfer! I grew up playing golf with my dad and grandparents all the time, which was so special. Then I played golf for my college, and now, I enjoy playing with my husband!

Favorite part of being on the team: Without a doubt my favorite part of being on this team is working with these amazing ladies! It is such a privilege to work with such encouraging and hardworking women—they love what they do, they do it well, and they are so talented! It’s a joy to come to work every day and spend time with and learn from them.

Favorite Cultivate Shop product: Just one favorite? That's the hardest question in this interview! Besides PowerSheets (because of course those are a favorite) I would have to say it's a toss-up between any Write the Word Journal and our Encouragement Postcards! I love to spend time in the Word each day with my Write the Word journal (and they make very meaningful gifts!), and I'm a huge fan of snail mail so I love sending postcards to make someone's day!

Friends, please help us give Jordan a big CWM welcome in the comments below! You can also say hi and get to know her on Instagram!

Photos by Gina Zeidler and Traci Huffman.

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Meet Ashlea, our Customer Delight and Conference Manager!

Our core values aren't things we teach or train on, they're just a part of who we are. They're the most important thing we look for when hiring, because they are the guiding force in our organization. We've been showing you sneak peeks at our two newest ladies on social media for the last few weeks, and we're thrilled to formally introduce them over the next two days! We're equally thrilled they both embody our core values to a tee :)

Friends, meet Ashlea, our Customer Delight and Conference Manager! If you've emailed over the past few months or signed up for our Making Things Happen Conference, there's a good chance you've met Ashlea (maybe without even realizing it!). Ashlea joined our team in early March, dove right into attending her very first Making Things Happen Conference soon after, and has been a rockstar since then. Not only is she incredibly dedicated, but she consistently brings our team back to our why and what matters most to us, and we've found that invaluable!

She's also had a big few months personally–celebrating a birthday and an engagement all in one week! We're not ones to shy away from celebrations, so we loved having the chance to shower her with well-wishes and congratulations!

Keep reading to get to know Ashlea–I can say with complete confidence you are going to come to adore her joyful spirit as much as we all have over these past three months!


You'll get to meet the lady on the left tomorrow :)

What's your title? Customer Delight and Conference Manager

What have you been doing since March? So much! My role is unique and gives me the opportunity to serve on both our Operations and Marketing Pods. Since starting, I've attended my first Making Things Happen Conference, learned our Cultivate company history at our Team Summit, experienced my first summer product photo shoot, learned how to delight our customers, and worked alongside our team to develop new ways to help women live more purposeful lives. It's hard to believe how much I've been able to put my hands to in only three months! Little by little progress adds up, y'all!

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What else will you be doing in the coming months? The next few months will be busy for all of us but so much fun! One of my top priorities is working alongside our conference director, Kristin Winchester, to plan our fall Making Things Happen Conference in September. Our team likes to think of Making Things Happen as doing PowerSheets in person and there is nothing else like it. I'm so excited to meet all of the conference attendees in a few short months! Oh, and just in case you missed it, our 2019 PowerSheets launch in October! Get ready y'all–they're going to blow you away! I'll be preparing to serve our Cultivate community well during our PowerSheets launch by consistently delighting our customers.

Tell us how you joined the team in a few sentences: Prior to joining the Cultivate team, I was working in D.C. as a lawyer in a regulatory affairs department. After almost two years, I was ready for a big life change. My sister called me at the end of December to tell me she saw an opening at CWM, so I decided to take a huge leap of faith and apply. I actually wrote, "Change jobs - leave my current position and start a new position at Cultivate What Matters in March" as one of the goals in my PowerSheets! (Really!) Deciding to make the switch from the legal field to Cultivate wasn't something I took lightly, but the small step of writing out that goal in my PowerSheets changed something for me. If you're feeling stuck where you are, know that you're not! Sometimes all you have to do is take that first step!


Hometown and where you live now: I'm from Fayetteville, NC and I'm currently living in Chapel Hill, NC.

Birthday: May 30

Something others might not know about you: I have a love for British television. My absolute favorite show is Call the Midwife.

Favorite part of being on the team: Working alongside such smart, passionate, and driven women that I get to call not only my team members but also my friends. In the short time I've been a member of this team, they've prayed for me, encouraged me, cheered me on, and, just recently, celebrated me as I walk into a new season of engagement! It's a joy to come to the office each day and work with these women on our shared goal of helping this incredible community of women cultivate what matters!

Favorite Cultivate Shop product: I obviously love the PowerSheets because learning to set intentional goals has been life-changing for me! But, our Write the Word for Kids Bible Journal is also a favorite of mine. Planting seeds of faith in children at an early age is something that is personally important to me. It brings me so much joy to see kiddos actively engaged in scripture and learning about God's love!

Friends, please help us give Ashlea a big CWM welcome in the comments below! She's been such a delight to our team over the past few months, and we know you are going to love her just as much as we do! You can also say hi and get to know her on Instagram! We'll be introducing you to our other new team member tomorrow!

Photos by Gina Zeidler and Rachel Coffey.

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Welcome to the family!

Our family is growing and we couldn't be more excited to welcome you with open arms!

We are a team of women committed to providing encouragement, community, and practical tools to help you–yes, you!–make what matters happen in your own life.

Whether you're digging into your very first PowerSheets Goal Planner, saw your name on the Cultivate Goal Getter Board during Mid-Years Prep Week, or you're joining us from the Southern Weddings family, we couldn't be more thrilled to have you here!




What exactly is a Cultivator?

A cultivator uncovers her own unique goal and path. Instead of looking to other people’s goals or social media feeds to define her own, she puts in the hard work of uncovering a path that fires her up.

A cultivator embraces little by little progress. She doesn’t believe in quick fixes or overnight results, but she knows it’s okay to grow slow.

A cultivator gets her hands dirty and takes action. Waiting for perfection might sound like a good idea, but she knows it’s worth it to dig in right now instead of waiting for the perfect timing or circumstances.

A cultivator examines where she is in order to leap to what’s next. Instead of ignoring what isn’t working, she takes the time to evaluate everything–both the good and the bad–to uncover the path forward.

A cultivator creates a long-term vision and gets after it. She refuses to keep going through the motions, doing the same things she’s always done. Instead, she steps forward into a new path.

A cultivator sets out on a purposeful path by uncovering cultivated goals. She’s tired of wandering aimlessly, with no goal, and she embraces her path with excitement and enthusiasm.

A cultivator finds joy in the journey instead of placing all her value in the finish line. She knows there is much to be learned in the in-between.

A cultivator doesn’t just embrace imperfect progress; she celebrates it. She’s tired of abandoning ship at the first bump in the road, and she knows that the best things in life grow slowly.

A cultivator believes in community. She shares her goals, encouraging others along the way, instead of trying to do it all alone.


Sound like you? Ready to dive in and start cultivating what matters? We sure hope so! Here are six ways to get started, right where you are!

Wherever you are and wherever you are headed, thank you for allowing us to walk this journey alongside you. We are grateful for a spot in your life, and for the opportunity to cheer you on as you cultivate what matters!
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